I’ve been reflecting on what builds our resilience—those things that help us weather the disruption happening all around us. Our world is filled with disruption, and many people struggle to navigate these times. When we feel anxious, our desire to control things is a human response. Many external factors are outside our control, but internally there is a lot we can do to build resilience.
During COVID, I started looking for common behavior patterns of people who displayed a great deal of resilience and calm during this dark time. I realized that often their stability was driven by a kind of internal ballast. No matter what was going on, these people seem to operate from a strong sense of stability that was a source of their resilience.
The inner source of resilience
I used to sail and have owned two boats. When sailing, a ship is designed to have ballast. The ballast provides weight in the hull to stabilize the ship in heavy weather. In the small boats I owned, it also meant that when I tipped over, I could easily flip them upright again.
For people, ballast is what helps us remain resilient, even when it feels like everything around us is in motion and what used to be predictable is no longer something we can count on. I’ve noticed that the leaders who function well despite uncertainty are the ones whose source of stability is internal.
Resilience is the ability of a system (or human being) to maintain function through disruption. With a strong sense of resilience, if disruption occurs we look internally for our source of stability. This could be our sense of purpose, a focus on our values, our belief in our own capacity to shape our lives—which is different than our ability to control things around us. It could also be our belief that we and our actions matter at this point in time. These beliefs give us an inner locus of control. We perceive and respond to external events through this central core.
Conversely, if we have an external locus of control, we use outside events, beliefs, and opinions to shape our sense of stability. Resilience, in this case, would stem from the predictability of external events and our ability to control them.
Three ways to strengthen your inner source of resilience
Unfortunately, the security provided by predictability and control of external factors is almost nonexistent.
In a world where so many things are constantly changing, resilience based on external control is challenged on every level.
If you feel as though your resilience is shaky, here are some ways to strengthen your inner stability:
- Use a discernment process to identify your inner strengths. Ask people to identify your unique gifts. This simple exercise helps us see ourselves as others see us. It gives us a deeper understanding of who we really are.
- Articulate your inner beliefs and life purpose. Discovering and articulating the beliefs that shape our lives and our purpose provides us with an internal “North Star” that helps us stay on course when everything around us is in flux.
- Use the metaphor of developing the core muscles in our body. Just as we develop these muscles by exercising and focusing on them, we can do the same with our resilience muscle. Our guest blogger David Erskine writes often about his daily practice of “spiritual exercise.” I think it’s a great example to follow.
Use these strategies to recenter yourself if you’re overwhelmed by events happening in our world. And I’d love to know which strategies help you.
