I have been writing a series of blogs on “starting points.” What do I mean by starting points? These core background assumptions shape many facets of our beliefs and actions. For example, do we start with the assumption that the world is abundant or filled with scarcity? Do we organize our life around things or put relationships at the center of our life? Today I am reflecting on another starting point— control and adaptation.
The belief that control is possible takes us on a journey to exert it over our lives, others, and our organizations. The need to control things also shapes our beliefs. When we start with the assumption that control is possible, we measure our success through the lens of what we strive to control. In other words, I am successful if I can control my family, friends, team, organization, or life. Earlier in my career, I thought this was what I was supposed to do. It was a highly stressful time. Nature has helped me learn to let go of this starting point assumption.
Now, I believe that very little is controllable. This comes from my belief that control is only possible when the world around us is static, not moving or dynamic. As individuals, we are a living system. Living systems are dynamic. Our breathing is an indication that we are alive. Our heartbeat tells us that we are alive. We evolve our thinking and develop new skills and capacities throughout our lives.
Our world is very dynamic and complex and increasingly more dynamic. If control is only possible if the world stands still, then we are in trouble because that isn’t our reality. We can try to exert temporary control, but it takes a lot of energy and isn’t sustainable. If we haven’t examined our core background assumptions about life and still believe that control is possible and desirable, we are fighting against a powerful current.
The subtle signs of a control mentality
Bullying is an obvious sign of a controlling mentality. But there are other, more subtle signs of it as well. In our organizations, we often develop strategic plans based on the belief that we can control enough variables to deliver on our strategic plans. We act as if the external environment isn’t regularly disrupting our work. Boards of directors often evaluate their leaders on their ability to control things that impact the organization. Sometimes, this causes us to create organizational boundaries around our strategic plan. When we create these organizational boundaries and/or silos, there are fewer variables and the possibility of increases. Consequently, we are rewarded by our boards and bosses when we demonstrate that we can control the outcomes we seek. Analysts setting targets for stock prices and goals for quarterly profits are just two examples of this.
See if you can detect the signs of a controlling mentality. Reflect on the messages you receive in your work environment. Are you expected to control your team? Are you expected to control your work to achieve organizational goals?
These expectations and messages are often subtle. Yet, in most organizations, we know we must attempt to control uncontrollable dynamics, people, and things. Plenty of management books have tools, techniques, and strategies to do just that. We also have help from human resources, which set up performance evaluation processes that support a controlling mentality.
The benefits of shifting toward adaptation
Darwin’s research has been misquoted and misrepresented. We think Darwin said the “survival of the fittest,” which means that whoever is strongest, biggest, or most powerful is the one who will survive any upheaval. However, his research concluded that in nature, the species that survives is the one that adapts. In other words, species that survive evolve to become the best fit with the dynamically changing ecosystem around them.
“Survival of the best fit” represents a different starting assumption that can shape our lives. In nature, the system is constantly moving along with its species and plant life. Evolution is a given, and adapting to changes is a regular activity. But we can’t go back to seeking control when that adaptation happens. I worked with an organization that had a lot of disruption thrown at their sector. As a result, they are excellent at adaptation. Unfortunately, their board is still looking for control. This creates a lot of tension around expectations between the organization, its leaders, and its people.
The other day I was clearing my workspace to make room for a new computer. Perhaps serendipitously, I found a post-it note where I’d written this: Don’t believe everything you think. It’s perfect advice for an adaptive mindset. It reminds us to stay open to what’s happening and shift our thinking and responses rather than trying to control.
What if we start by believing that our lives will be filled with opportunities to adapt and challenges that require us to learn and shift our behavior? Or there will always be times when we must let go of what we believe and shift our thinking. I wonder what changes we’ll experience when we start with these beliefs?
